If you have lived for any significant length of time, you have endured some hardship. It is an inevitable part of being a human being. Every hardship we endure shapes us into something different than we were before. You can become more bitter, angry, scared, or victimized because of a particular hardship. Or you can become more resilient, empathic, grateful, scrappy, confident, courageous, strong, or purpose-filled.

What makes some people take the path of victimization, and others take the path of growth? Is it simply a choice, or is it based on who we were before that hardship came along?

Since hardships are inevitable, how do you prepare so that you can take the growth path?

What follows is my list of ideas to better prepare for your next hardship, based on no scientific research, but pulled from my own life experiences, reading and shared experiences with close family and friends.

Create and maintain good self-care habits, including exercise, eating well and fostering your own interests and hobbies.
Build your own self-worth. The more confident you are that you are a good person worthy of being loved, the easier it is to navigate a crisis. This is easier said than done. For many of us, one on one therapy is a necessary part of growing your self-worth, as low self-worth often stems from less than ideal relationships with early care-givers.
Define yourself as a multi-dimensional person. You are not just defined by one role, but many. You may be a plumber, but you might also be a father, child, husband, trusted friend, cycling buddy, and more. If you lose your job as a plumber, but you feel purpose as a father and husband, it helps.
Develop and maintain strong relationships with at least five people. Carefully choose people that you can count on in a crisis. Intentionally invest time with these five people; daily, weekly or at least monthly. It could be as simple as a regular phone call. This consistent communication builds intimacy in these key relationships.

Often a difficult time points you towards your purpose. If your aging parent or grandparent needs you, you have a clear purpose while caring for them. If a close friend or relative commits suicide, it may become your purpose to ensure that others are saved from that outcome. Many non-profits were birthed through someone’s personal experience with hardship; Mothers Against Drunk Drivers comes to mind.

Are you building your capacity to weather the storms to come and emerge with more strength and greater purpose? Spend a few minutes reflecting on the list above. What is one action you can start today to help you to prepare for your next hardship?